Transcriptions: A Discourse Between Jupiter and Mars

Mars: One, tri-po-let, three, four, five-and\ One, tri-po-let, three, four, five-and\ One, tri-po-let, three, four, five-and\ One, tri-po-let, three, four, five-and\

ONE – – – – \- – – FOUR –\ ONE – – – –

Jupiter: One-and and\ and two\ one-e-and-a-two\ one two-and\ one-e-and-a two-and\ one and and\ rest, TWO.\- -\ – rest\ one and and\ and two\ one-and-two-and.

A Translation:

Mars: I am inhuman yes I am\ war inhuman yes I am war\ I am inhuman yes I am\ war inhuman yes I am war.

I – – – – \ – – – AM – \ WAR – – – –

Jupiter: Look at Mars\ he’s weird\ why should I have\ such family.\ What did I do to deserve this?\ rest, OH\HH\H, rest\ I raped my\ own wife.\ That might be it.

If you’re still unfamiliar with what any of this number-speak means:
The Planets Mvmt. 1: Mars and The Planets Mvmt. 4: Jupiter as performed by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra under Mr. James Levine.

There you have it, my Tuesday night in a nutshell. Of course, Tchaikovsky,  Saint-Saëns, Revel, and Rimsky-Korsakov selections were also on the program, but I find an obligation in creating narration for these two ubiquitous movements of The Planets by Holst. Admitting this was not at all what I was thinking while on stage, I respectfully concede that it would be ever inappropriate to exaggerate my thoughts during Bolero.

• On a more serious note to acrophobic, or altophobic if it pleases you, persons, always be prepared for surprise risers. That’s just a useful chip of information, so the issue of combating panic while performing never arises. If necessary, take a sedative with you, just in case. Next to that, all I can suggest is to mentally prepare, every time, no matter what. :D

Can you tell I don’t like high places yet? -_-;;